Another Five Minute Friday, on a Saturday, writing for five minutes for just the beauty of it. Want to join in? Come on over here and meet this great community.
I'm wondering what it's like for my kids: living a connected life where the pieces fit together and don't have to separate into mom's house and dad's house and small little compartments with neat little labels lasting 47 minutes each. I'm wondering if they will ever understand how different it could be. How different it was for their big brother.
I'm wondering if it really is just now, this minute, that I'm realizing that what I missed for most of my life was having a connected life. I had school me, and home me and after leukemia turned up, I had hospital me. I had my-house me and dad's-house me, the me I shared with my friends and the me I created for the boy friends. Then there was the me I was in my own head: the me who tried to write but usually wound up laughing at all the words because they sounded like a stranger wrote them.
I don't think any of those disconnected parts of that girl knew just how fragmented she was. I don't think I've ever been more me, with all my parts connected, than I have been these past few years. My heart and my spirit and my head and my writing and my mommy-ing and all of it have been more one-pieced (and becoming more so each day). I'm less and less fragmented. I'm more and more whole. I'm connected to My God and my family, to my friends and to right here. My living and worshiping and loving are all a sweet medley of a one piece life. Oh don't get me wrong; my frustration and worry and heartache are all there too, but still all me. All one piece. All connected.