Sunday, November 2, 2008

Doubting my Beliefs

One of my last entries talked about 'doubting my doubts' and my faith being based on 'rock solid truth' . I can't help but think it's significant that since my last blog I have found good reason to doubt many of my beliefs. I don't mean losing faith in my God but more realizing that so much of what I believe only comes from traditions of the Church. So much of what I always thought I knew by heart isn't actually in the bible. It has been strange to realize that growing up a 'church kid' can be a bit numbing to what is in the written word. So much of the bible is not just Sunday school stories. I actually have never been so excited about reading my bible and allowing God's Spirit to speak to me rather than taking someone elses predigested version of the truth. Things are not as clear as some would like us to think...and that is OK. God wants to be the one with all the answers. He does not want us walking around thinking we know all there is to know and anyone who disagrees is hell bound. He wants us to go to His word and to trust Him.

There certainly is something familiar and comforting about Sunday morning tradition, but tradition does not replace Truth. Sermons do not take the place of bible study and spiritual revelation. It's ok to question things. Truth can hold up to any scrutiny. Those who have the quickest answers are often just repeating that predigested stuff (I know, that used to be me). I am so thankful that God is continually shaping me into who He wants me to be. I am grateful that He loves me enough to answer my prayers to change my heart and bring me closer to Him.

I never thought I'd take comfort in knowing less. But knowing less (than I thought I knew) has allowed me to trust more, to read more, to want more of my God. This walk is amazing. LORD, you are amazing. I humbly offer You all that I am. I pray that my hunger for Your truth continues until the day I can ask you these questions face to face.

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